Falling Sky

I’ve found a great group of people to talk with lately. A lot of these folks are going through the same crisis I am and it’s good to know I’m not alone in the world. More importantly, it’s good to know that I’m still a decent person and the situation I’ve wound up in largely isn’t my fault. Sure, there was things I did do which I shouldn’t and things I didn’t do which I should. The point being I could have corrected those small things had I known about them and talked about them. I could confront the problems like an adult and move on, but only if I had known about them in the first place.

There was a great analogy involved in all of this discussion. True or not, it still makes a lot of sense.

“In China they used to catch ducks by digging a hole and placing a small orange in it. They then covered the hole with a grate that had openings in it just large enough for the duck’s head to stick through. The ducks would stick their heads through to get the orange, and when the hunters walked up they were able to simply grab the ducks by the neck. Why? Because the ducks wouldn’t let go of the orange, and the orange wouldn’t fit through the grate. Now some ducks got away by letting go of the orange.“

I fell in love with an orange many years ago. She was beautiful (and still is), intelligent, caring and sensitive. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman. Anyways, one theme that constantly seems to play through for guys in my position is the apparent sudden change. My wife.. the one who wants to help people by being a psychologist, talked about being a marriage councilor and spiritual guide. The same woman I was supporting in helping her with her dream, turned around and dropped our marriage and relationship for someone else. This all happened in the space of a couple of weeks. She turned cold, uncaring, selfish.. everything I never ever thought she could be.

I don’t know if I simply didn’t see the change happening, or if it was sudden, but there it is. I now need to think like the woman I fell in love with is gone and has been replaced by this person who I wouldn’t dream of having a relationship with. My orange had gone rotten in the middle and I guess that makes it easier to let go of it and fly away.

Goodbye, orange. I still love you, but with the changes that have happened inside of you you’re definitely not healthy for me (or anyone for that matter). Maybe one day you’ll see this. Maybe one day you’ll change and get better and find those qualities which mattered to me (and doubtless, others) again.

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